Creamy Facials calls itself the “best source for the hottest cumshots” and promises “thousands of the best quality cumshot pics” and “fast streaming hardcore videos.” Is it the “best source for the hottest cumshots” and does it deliver on its promises? No. No, it does not.
All the content on Creamy Facials was clearly purchased from dozens of other sites and most of it doesn’t even have facials in it! The gallery named Cum Girl, for example, inexplicitly depicts a girl masturbating alone with no cum on her face! There’s flagrant false advertising!
There are twenty-three pages of photo galleries on Creamy Facials—that’s three hundred and sixty-seven galleries in all. The galleries have fun names like “Dildo Trooper” and “Super Dildo Girl” (in these two cases, Creamy Facials is rubbing its members faces in its non-facial photosets!). Allegedly, the webmasters of Creamy Facials add new photos daily to the site; there’s no way to verify this claim cos the “updates” aren’t dated. Most of the photos on this site are small and heavily pixilated, as if they’ve been Xeroxed a few hundred times with a color copier.
Purportedly, the videos are updated monthly. In reality, there are no actual videos on Creamy Facials; there are, however, links to seven video feeds, a few of which are actually facial-related. That’s not quite what I expected when I read about all those “fast streaming hardcore videos” in the tour...
Okay, so the actual porn on Creamy Facials is terrible; thankfully, there’s plenty of other content to enjoy, including “erotic sex stories” (as opposed to all those unerotic sex stories that are all over the web), “humorous jokes” (as opposed to unfunny jokes, the kind that an especially hateful coworker might tell at an office Christmas party) and links to games, chatrooms and other shit on sites that have nothing to do with facials, creamy or otherwise. Joy! Those links will come in handy after you’ve looked at Creamy Facials for twenty seconds and have concluded that there’s nothing of value on this site.
I can’t lie to you people: Creamy Facials is shitty. This is definitely one of the worst sites I’ve ever reviewed. It’s a good thing that a three-day trial is only $1.85 and your membership to Creamy Facials will give you access to sixty (yes, sixty) completely random bonus sites, including Average Ho, Tranny Trouble, Shocking Cocks, Pimp 4 a Day, Dildo Dippers and Mission Upskirt.
-- Thor Lovehammer
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